written by— Andrea Berset
For absolutely every question that comes up in life, ask yourself first if the answer inspires a genuine HELL YEAH in you? Is there enthusiasm + passion for what your saying yes to? If there is not that kind of exciting energy behind it than, say NO.
Your time and energy are incomprehensibly precious, often times we are unaware as to how much we say yes to invites, offers, and people all out of feeling like we “should.” As well as in so many different contexts. Feeling into the difference of merely saying “okay” to something or someone, versus the feeling of knowing for sure-- YES, HELL YES! With a true determination + fierce confidence in your decision.
We are all a tad bit guilty of this, we've been conditioned to be this way. Whether it be business related or friendships that have maybe expired or even romantic endeavors that your heart isn't 100% into. We feel like we “should.” The feeling is one of obligation, like we are supposed to, and if we don't what will "they" think of us? Where does this pressure to perform or care about what others think actually come from?
We ALL feel it.
“Don't should on yourself.” Lol, Looking into what obligation actually means: an act or course of action to which a person is morally or legally bound; a duty or commitment. It feels forced. It does not feel good to act out of obligation or expectation. When we do say yes to things we don't actually want to do, it turns into resentment. Seething resentment not necessarily to the invitor or the event, but it turns into a grumpy feeling towards oneself.
Not putting what we want personally at the forefront of our lives literally makes us angry at ourselves. THEN the internal argument starts within us. Why can't I give myself what I want? Well, you are supposed to because of this or that, blah blah blah.
The solution is crazy simple!
In every moment when you have an opportunity to say yes or no something, tune into the feeling of, is it a HELL YEAH? Do you know it for sure, without a doubt that this is exactly what you want to do? If so, Go for it! If there is any doubt about it being absolutely a HELL YEAH than it is most definitely a NO, the answer is simple. The practice of celebrating life has everything to do with prioritizing your time to doing "mostly only " what brings you pure JOY.