Learning to love yourself, a practical step…

written by:

Andrea Berset

Like you love your soul sisters!

with My Maui soul sis, vallia

with My Maui soul sis, vallia

True self love is seeing yourself in that same love light as your most cherished loved ones.

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Think about the woman you love the very most in your life. Your best friend or sister, maybe your mama or daughter. Feel into that love you have for her in your heart. You start to smile just thinking about her:) She is totally amazing and beautiful and you are in awe of how gloriously she shows up in the world.

One day it dawned on me, that I definitely did not treat myself like I treated my most precious loved ones. I saw them in this epic light of radiant perfection, they could do no wrong in my eyes. I adored and appreciated everything about them and felt immense gratitude for all the gifts they brought into my life.

To me, they were goddesses, queens, powerful and extraordinary. I would be surprised when they would tell me amazing things about myself. Wow, I thought, they actually see that in me?

Of course, this is why having a tribe of beautiful sisters in your life is so important, they can see in you what you cannot yet see in yourself.

I mean, there was a part of me that knew because I was surrounded by such amazing women that there must also be amazing aspects about me, but I never believed it in a whole sense. I most definitely did not have the same reverence, the same respect, the same up on a pedestal feeling for myself, like I did for them.

How to love yourself…

It became crystal clear that the outrageous love that I give to others is exactly how much I wanted to love myself. This realization put that kind of love into something within reach, something attainable I could feel into. I was already giving that kind of love to others so freely. Could I really be that kind, understanding and compassionate with myself?

These soul sister relationships are the perfect example of exactly how you can experience unconditional love for yourself. Truly so radical to see yourself in that same way, surrounded by that same love light. Take this moment right now and see yourself through the same adoring eyes that you use to gaze upon women you admire.

Tell yourself the truth…

Maintaining a positive outlook on your life is just as important as telling yourself the truth about all the ways that you feel. It is a constant balance, remaining positive but at the same time expressing feelings as they arise. On the path to self love, it is vital to identify + acknowledge how you feel. Back then, I didn’t have the emotional intelligence to know that I felt inadequate, much less have the courage to voice it.

So much of our personal judgments are so subtle that we have learned to just let it carry on in the background. We don't want to believe it so we try and pretend like it's not there. We've become masters at ignoring it and we do things like say affirmations to try and convince ourselves otherwise. As my mentor Pali would say, you can put sugar over shit but it still stinks. The negative self-talk we all feel is so deeply ingrained it just feels normal.

Self care practices…

To truly live as the radiant, wondrous beings of light that we each are, we must indulge in radical honesty with ourselves about how we feel, the good and the bad. Sharing how you feel with your loved ones is the only way to connect heart to heart. Each time you are vulnerable and share what you're going through, it literally lightens your load as a person. You are then able to step back out of your own experience and feel the same kind of loving compassion you give to others, for yourself.

It feels so fucking good to get these things “off our chest,” for a reason. You can lean on the relationships that require that you to be vulnerable, that challenge you to grow. I encourage you to make agreements with the ones who get it and when you need to share, ask them to listen. Then, you can provide the same help for them!

Do you currently have this kind of agreement with any of your loved ones? Asking for this before you need to vent will create an awesomely open and valuable reciprocation for you both:) Allowing yourself to be seen though the eyes of another creates an A-MAZING opportunity to love yourself as you are. Please do share any thoughts or comments below, I’d love to know!

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Do you know any other women that would benefit from reading this? Please forward to a friend or share…