written by— Andrea Berset
Dear beautiful friend,
With each new day, your body is changing— you are coming more and more into your own, becoming more of the woman you are meant to be, and your beauty is alluringly refining with every moment, can you see that in you?
Every time I see one of my girlfriends I am blown away by her beauty. In my eyes, she is somehow even more beautiful than she was in her twenties! We are all 35+ now, sure we have some sweet little smile lines around our eyes and many have ventured into the life-changing realm of motherhood. I am, however, talking about the kind of beauty that you seem to settle into as you age. The kind of beauty that can only come from age- the radiant look of wisdom that makes your eyes sparkle and can literally light up your face.
None of us would ever really want to go back to being our twenty-year-old self. We know and trust ourselves so much more now, we have fine-tuned our likes and dislikes, and we even have the courage to set boundaries and stand up for ourselves. Yet, there is still this feeling that aging is something we are supposed to fight it, even dread. Somehow our self-worth and self-value have been deeply embedded in our ability to “stay young.” A losing battle when it's inevitable that we will all age.
I am dedicated to change this for us and for future generations of women to come. This fear of “falling behind” or “losing our beauty and not being wanted anymore,” is just not true. We are surrounded by anti-aging messages that say: As you are is not good enough and you need to do something about it if you want to be okay. I believe it is important for us as women to find a healthy balance in maintaining our beauty and self-care while at the same time loving who we are as we age.
Even while I was bikini modeling in my twenties I had a negative body image. She was never good enough, I needed to do this workout or eat this way in order for her to pass my “perfect test.” Out of college I weighed 115 pounds and thought my booty was way “too big,” and that I had “back fat.” When I moved to Maui I changed my diet and dropped down to around 100 pounds, then I was “too skinny.” It wasn't until I began to practice loving my body, that my judgment for the way she looked started to soften. It’s taken 5 years of a consistent self-love practice— that I can now say, I love the way she looks and most importantly how she feels. I now weigh 110 pounds or so...
The amount I weighed did not change much, what changed is the way that I perceive and treat my body now. I have accepted her for who she is. That acceptance has created the opportunity to love her, as she is. Too big, too thin, doesn't matter, I love her unconditionally now, no matter what.
How to stay young— ageless + graceful…
If we're looking through the lens that aging is a problem and we are literally trying to “stop it,” we will continue to see proof that aging is indeed a problem. We will look for and see an aging lady in the mirror every morning because that is where our focus is. If we instead notice how beautiful our skin looks today and how amazing our body looks today, that is what we will see in the mirror, again and again. You will see the profound beauty that you already are when you love yourself. That is how powerful your perception is my love!
This rite of passage into aging is inevitable, surrendering our fight against this process is simply to shift into the energy of embracing aging. To celebrate our beautiful body as she changes. To see every wrinkle and every scar as epic parts of our stories. These “flaws” make us even more desirable! The Japanese have a wonderful way to look at this: When pottery gets broken, they fill in the cracks with gold. They believe that when something has suffered damage and has a history it becomes even more beautiful.
How to change your life completely…
You can still get the botox and the procedures while simultaneously appreciating your beauty now, as is because what you appreciate appreciates! To see your beauty as alluringly refining, rather than declining, is a gift you must give to yourself. To look in the mirror and tell yourself how beautiful you look today, and to uplift other women by telling them how beautiful they look today too, is how we can shift out of these myths about aging.
We must reclaim our inherent right to adore our own beauty in every stage. The fountain of youth can only be found within, think of it as the most magical treasure hunt of all. Once discovered, can never be taken from you and will always be yours. You can tap into this never-ending nectar of self-love always and forever. Take the time you need to build this gorgeous foundation of love and admiration for yourself and your body, you won’t regret it and you totally deserve it.
Do you feel like it is time we took back our right to embrace aging? Please comment, I would LOVE to hear your thoughts:)
Do you know any other women that would benefit from reading this? Please forward to a friend or share…